“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”
The action in attraction…
In Part One, we saw that it is important to find out what you truly desire, whether that’s something simple like new clothes or something as profound as a life partner. How will you ever have the life you want if you never take the time to work out what that actually means for you? Life is far too precious to run on auto-pilot!
A simple way to do this is to become just a bit more conscious of how you apply the anticipation mindset in your own life. Not sure what an anticipation mind-set is? Then read on…
Just for fun, whether you are a guy or a gal, imagine that you are going on a hot date and are planning to buy a new outfit for the occasion. You may find yourself automatically jumping ahead and imagining the date itself; the mind often wants to race ahead on autopilot. But I would like you to do something a little different – slow your imagination down and focus on a very short timescale where you:
You might initially see no purpose to this mini exercise, but it would be useful to realise:
a) This simple idea of ‘time shifting’ can have quite a significant effect when it is consciously applied versus having it happen on autopilot or by default.
b) Our imagination’s link to our body is such that we experience some of what we would like to feel in the future even though we are still in the here and now.
Let’s look at a real life example where this thinking has been applied consciously. I hope this will help convince you of the benefits of slowing down your thinking and it may even lubricate your imagination, giving it more flexibility so it is ready to stretch a little and try something new.
A recently divorced friend of a friend shared how she was meeting lots of new lovers for clean, healthy and enjoyable sex. (Please note: I only ever share these examples with full permission).
She had initially found herself in what felt like a Groundhog Day existence whilst recovering from a long drawn-out divorce. Then, totally out of the blue, a very close friend died. This proved to be a pivotal moment in her life, one that she could not ignore. Suddenly life felt too short to spend her years dreaming about what she wanted instead of actively creating a life with few regrets – including recharging her love and sex life. She wanted to replace her Groundhog Day life with something more like Fifty Shades of Grey.
As well as being a very modern outgoing woman, she is also very much a romantic at heart so was hoping that she would chance upon ‘the man who can be all men to her’. For a while, we discussed how she could ‘remove the randomness’ as, although she was meeting great guys, she still hadn’t met the one with whom she could create a relationship that was about much more than sex.
I asked her to share what was common to the experiences where she felt most aligned with her true self. She replied that those were times where she felt most attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. She had to feel all three come together.
I started to see that she was unconsciously applying time shifting to test for where she could ride the ebbs and flows of anticipation most enjoyably. This way she would be able to strike a balance between what was ‘known’ and what could be ‘new’ to her. She needed enough known to feel safe enough to surrender to the experience yet enough new that she would feel all the tingles of excitement that she longed for.
I explained that her best experiences of heightened attraction were when she took the time and space to test her anticipation not just before (like most people do on autopilot) but also during and after. I thought she was extremely skillful at tapping into her sense of anticipation, leaving just enough unknowns to allow fate and destiny to play their part. She was interested to hear this new take on her experiences.
It was clear that her first time with a new lover was like a mini ritual. Here are just a few items that she shared and is okay with me sharing with you:
This example shows us we can take a measure of control over the attraction process just by using our imagination to test out the anticipated ebbs and flows. Like the lady above, we can imagine every aspect of the planned event or purchase (if you’re still trying to work out what your ideal item of clothing is!) We can use our minds to ‘see’ what comes before, what happens during and what happens afterwards. And all of these mental time shifts will increase our anticipation and, ultimately, allow us to enjoy the fulfilment of our desires even more. What could be better than that?
Bringing together the before, during and after aspects of time helps us strike a balance between what we are attracted to and what is attracted to us but is still awaiting alignment. Two magnets, when correctly aligned, need very little persuasion to come together.
Why not have a go yourself? Think about something (or someone) that is attracting you. Fully imagine the before, during and after… that way you will invite the dynamic action of attraction.
- There are all kinds of attraction, including magnetic attraction.
- We all time-travel, shifting backward and forward in time in our minds. Most of this happens below consciousness, often on autopilot.
- If something is on auto-pilot it can have too much unwanted influence on us.
- The further back and further forward we go with our imagination, the greater the chance of switching onto autopilot. We need to focus more on slowing things down a bit to ensure this doesn’t happen.
- We all have different appetites for risk. Knowing our optimum risk level helps us tap into anticipation.
- Anticipation usually runs on auto-pilot.
- We become more conscious of anticipation and attraction when we choose to run the ‘action’ movie in our minds of the before, during and after rather than letting it run by default.
- When before, during and after is more conscious, the more chance we have of aligning ourselves with the good things that truly attract us.